Dating after divorce can be an exciting time. You’re free again. Free to find someone who cares about you. Most marriages before a divorce cool significantly and tend to make us feel unlovable since the one person who’s supposed to love us doesn’t show that anymore. Now you have the opportunity to find that “lovin feeling” again. In the midst of the excitement, be sure not to make unwise decisions when it comes to your children.
One of the biggest dating after divorce mistakes I see with my coaching clients is introducing their kids to dating partners too soon. While you may be really excited about this new person in your life, your kids probably aren’t. You dating is a foreign idea to them. In their minds, you’re supposed to be with their other parent, not holding hands with some stranger.
The most common reason for introducing kids to dates probably falls under the heading of convenience. It’s just easier to spend time with your special someone at your home. Getting a babysitter or waiting until the kids are at their other parent’s house gets old fast when you’re dating after divorce. This is especially true when you’re in the passionate stage of a new relationship and you want to be together all the time. While that’s understandable, here’s a list of
Dating After Divorce Problems with that thinking:
1. You’re placing a higher priority on your needs rather than your kids’.
2. If your focus is solely on your new partner, this will only increase your kids’ fears about abandonment.
3. Life after divorce already feels unstable for your kids. With a constant revolving door of new people coming in and out of your children’s lives, no stability will be gained.
4. With so many people coming and going, your children will be less likely to be willing to bond with someone when a relationship really becomes serious for fear of them leaving just like all the others have.
While dating after divorce should be a time of freedom. Freedom to explore who you are now. Freedom to try new things. Freedom to discover what kind of partner you want to have in your life now. Remember that you have little eyes watching you to see how life is supposed to be “done” and depending on you to be there for them.
Recommended Resource:
Tags: dating, dating after divorce, divorce
Leave A Reply (No comments So Far)
You must be logged in to post a comment.