First Date Ideas: 5 Steps to Make It Great

Having solid first date ideas can help ease the flurry of feelings that are common once you make the choice to begin dating after divorce.

It’s important to be able to enjoy yourself while dating. That’s what dating is all about - meeting new people, enjoying their company, and getting to know them. If you’re always miserable when you date, why are you putting yourself through that?!

I think there are 5 key first date ideas divorced parents can take to help them relax and enjoy themselves while dating after divorce.

1. Don’t have expectations that are too high - If your first date ideas include hoping to find the new love of your life, you’re going to be very disappointed. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself or the poor person you’re going out with. Instead, look at the date as an opportunity to get away and have some adult time with someone you may enjoy getting to know. Be sure not to tear yourself down if you and the person don’t click and you never hear from them again. That’s a part of dating.

2. Make sure you’re ready - One important first date idea is to recognize you may not enjoy yourself if you started dating too soon after the divorce.

Is it even fair to consider the possibility of finding another romantic partner if you’re not over the last one? It’s not unusual for friends and family to push divorcees into dating after divorce too early. They suffer from the delusion that all you need is a new partner and then you’ll be fine. If you’ve succumbed to this pressure, take some time to reflect on taking care of yourself instead. Another partner can’t help you heal, only you can do that.

3. Be yourself - Another important first date idea is to relax and not believe you have to act a certain way in order to be liked. Be honest about who you are and what you believe in. Trying to fit your date’s ideal will only make you unhappy in the long run. You’ll have to keep playing the charade and ultimately could lose track of your true self.

Just focus on having fun and getting to know this person. If you don’t match up very well, it’s ok! You’re not going to want to go out with every person you date twice.

4.The kids are taken care of - If you’re sitting there the whole time worrying about the kids and wondering what they’re doing, you’re going to be miserable.

One of my prime first date ideas has always been to try to go on dates when the kids are at their other parent’s house. You know they’re ok and you don’t have to explain to them that you’re on a date.

If that’s not an option, then make sure you get a sitter you trust. If your kids are older, then have a specific plan in mind for how they are to take care of themselves while you’re gone.

5. Know your boundaries - It’s important that you are real clear on what you’re hoping for on a date. If you aren’t looking for a serious relationship, then don’t let your date push you into exclusivity.

At the same time, it may have been awhile since you’ve had sex, so be clear on where you stand on your sexuality so you don’t make choices you later regret due to hormones.

Following these simple first date ideas will allow you to have fun and possibly find a partner you’d like to spend more time with. It’s not about seeking remarriage at this point, it’s more about discovering what type of person is a good fit for you at this point in your life.

Tags: dating after divorce