How to Help Kids in Life After Divorce

Knowing how to help kids after divorce can be a long hard road. Many parents don’t realize the impact that “parenting time” has on their children. For kids, time equals love. The amount of time kids get with their parents after a divorce changes. Let’s look at how important your role is in how to help kids once the divorce is over.

How to Help Kids for Custodial Parents

 You are the one the kids see the most. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve been involved though. A divorce can be emotionally traumatic, leaving some parents ill-equipped for all of the changes and responsibilities they are suddenly faced with. When you “check out” and withdraw there are still things that need to get done and that usually falls on the kids’ shoulders even though they may be hurting just as much as you.

When trying to determine how to help kids, it’s important to put your feelings and fears aside if even for an hour so that you can focus on them. Give them the time they need from you to feel safe and secure; knowing you’re there for them as their parent not just their provider.

How to Help Kids for Non-Custodial Parents

You have the greatest potential for impact both positive and negative. You are the parent the children miss the most. They’ve been used to seeing you on a regular basis and now that has changed. Unfortunately, a lot of parents have a hard time with this too and deal with it by spending even less time with their kids, because it’s just too painful to see them.

I can’t stress enough how much damage this does to your children. It is NOT how to help kids!  They don’t understand your reasoning and only see it as you abandoning them when they need you the most. I’m also going to take a stand here and say you’re being selfish. You’re more interested in YOUR needs than you are your children’s when you do this.

How to Help Kids?  They Need You!

Kids need to feel secure that you love them. The way they feel that way is when you are regularly present in their lives. When that doesn’t happen then one of two things will happen:

1. They will act out in such a way that forces you to be more involved (even if that means you’re yelling at them)

2. They will act like they are ok with everything, but potentially what they’re really doing is stuffing their feelings, putting them at risk for depression and drug use later.

Want to know how to help kids?  Show them they’re a priority, don’t just tell them. Invest in your kids today with your time.