Wedding jitters are not uncommon. As the date draws near though, here’s a relationship advice question to ask yourself: “Are these common worries and fears about what married life may bring or am I having some real reservations based on red flags I’ve ignored?”
It’s not uncommon for people to “overlook” things they don’t like about their partners while the relationship is new and fresh. My relationship advice to you is to realize this is dangerous when you ignore big problems in the relationship. You’re preparing to get married to this person. If this is a remarriage for you, you intimately know the pain of divorce. Are you really interested in doing that again?
There are many reasons why people try to bury their head in the sand when it comes to relationship concerns before a wedding. One of these include…
Relationship Advice #1: Don’t be naive and think things will change
Once you’re married, your job is not to change your spouse, it’s to accept them. If you feel any changing needs to take place, then make sure this happens BEFORE the “I Do’s.” Change is hard and most people don’t like to do it. It requires some pretty extreme motivation. All you have to do is look around at all of the overweight people who’ve dropped their New Year’s Resolutions by February!
Relationship Advice #2: As a couple, decide how to deal with those areas that need to change and slow the wedding track down if necessary.
It’s important for you to talk to your partner now about any reservations you have. If your partner truly cares about you, making these concerns known now and coming up with a plan for change is something he/she will be motivated to do. Once you’re married, the likelihood of that motivation being there drops significantly. Remember, marriage is “until death do us part”. My final piece of relationship advice for you: Make sure you’re clear on what you’re willing to deal with for the rest of your life.
Recommended Resource:
Tags: healthy remarriage, preparing for remarriage, preparing for second marriage, relationship advice, second marriage, second marriages
Leave A Reply (2 comments So Far)
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Pat Booker
98 days ago
I truly understand the contents of this article. When you are younger, you belive that your love for your mate can save them, can change th em. Their love for you will make them willing to change for you. But love is not enough. You have to be willing to accept the person you marry assuming they will always be this way. No one is perfect but if they have 80% of what you want then you have a winner. But if there is a problem, it must be addressed prior to marriage. If you as a couple can’t handle dealing with these issues prior to marriage, how are you going to handle the things that come up later, when money gets funny and health fails?
admin
97 days ago
Thanks Pat! You’re SO right about being able to work through things before the wedding. Life’s hard and you’re always going to run into snags. A solid couple is able to work through those and draw together to solve them. Things fall apart when you see one another as the enemy and pull apart.